We don't have the internet at our house at the moment (we disconnected it during the hospital stay), and I haven't had the chance to read all of your posts (but I will!) - THANK YOU so much for your overwhelming kindness, your love, and your prayers. We are so grateful. As we're planning the service, it's incredible to continue to see the Lord's provision in this and how things are coming together. We've got a long road in front of us. Please keep the donor's family in your prayers as well. I continue to think of them as well and know they're hurting tremendously. Also, to the ICU nurses, if any of you read this, please know how grateful we were for all of you. I was always so blessed by the ways you loved and took care of Payton. We didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Hopefully we'll come visit sometime in the future. At least for me (Heather), it just doesn't feel "normal" to not be heading into the unit and seeing you all there.
...and to Mephisto, you are ALWAYS welcome here :)
26 comments:
I took some time to read comments today and it is just incredible to see the number of people who have been touched by Payton's life, including my own.
We love you guys. Get some rest. We'll see you soon.
Sara
Oh Heather (and Aaron)
How is it that in the midst of your our heaviness of hearts you are so others focused? That is evidence of God's Spirit in you. All of us continue to check in on your blog site, because we love you and we are praying constantly for you, and we know that this site is a place that brings glory to Jesus ... and that's because you've made this about HIM, even when you've had every reason to make this about yourselves... your humility, vulnerability, and steadfast trust in God's goodness has drawn us all in. And we have seen Jesus in a new way.
Thank you so much, Heather and Aaron for ministering to us, when it's you that should be receiving the cup of cool water.
much love
I have logged in so many times and read all the comments but logged out without posting. Everyone else has spoken so eloquently and it seems all has been said. I just want you to know that we continue to hold you up in prayer. May God comfort you with the knowledge that Payton is completely healed and happy in the presence of her Creator.
You and Payton have touched so many lives. Your witness and faithfulness are both inspiring and humbling.
My prayers also continue for Ila and Terry, the Joneses, and your extended family.
In Jesus' love, The Zibells
When I learned that Heather was pregnant I was so excited that I would be able to teach Payton things and show her the world. What actually occurred was that Payton taught me a great deal. I would like to share with you what Payton's 5 short months of life taught me:
1. We need each other. When one of us is hurting or in need of prayer, the rest of us can provide that need. We have different talents and the talents are knit together so that everyone contributes their best gift.
2. All life is precious. It's not for us to judge the quality of life. To the world's eyes, Payton had no quality of life and contributed nothing to society, yet lying in her bed and just being a baby, she touched lives literally around the world. She has profoundly touched my life.
3. I learned what Jesus meant when He honored the faith of a child. Payton laid in her little bed and played and listened to stories while the storm raged around her. She was focused on the voice of her parents like we should be focused on the voice of our Father.
4. Don't take any time or any day for granted. Everytime I was with Payton, I experienced her.
We prayed for a miracle and we thought that miracle was wrapped in a new heart. So the obvious question is "why". I thought that surely since God had brought her so far, He would bring her the rest of the way to healing. However, there were many miracles along the way and certainly the miracle that we were ever able to bring her home. She even got to come to grandma and grandpa's house. We are hurting because we miss this child so much. She was a sweet, darling little baby.
I cannot tell you what your prayers and support have meant to all of us. Thank you for standing with us.
With much love,
Grandma Ila
We love you both, and continue to pray you through this time. Plesae let us know if there is something more "tangible" we can do.
Always in prayer,
Karen & Brian Johnston
Ila, my heart aches so for you I just can't put it into words.
I remember Heathers shower. You had to be the most excited grandma in the world. The glow was just as bright on your face as Heathers.:)
The picture I have in my mind that stands out the most is when little Payton came home to your house. Terry and I stopped over to see the little peanut.
She was just beautiful.
Aaron was putting her down on the floor in her car seat rocker. Everyone was looking down and talking about her. I turned to ask Heather a question and you were standing by Heather with your arm around her, just like a mother protecting her baby from the world. I just could not get that sight out of my mind. The love and protection that showed in your face. And that was passed on down to Heather. She wanted to shield Payton from all the hurt in the world. God must have known the feeling, cause he took your most loved possesion in his arms and took her home.
I can not even imagine the emptiness you feel right now. I can only say time will have a way of easing that hurt, but never erasing the wonderful memories you have of your first little grand-daughter.
Just know we are praying for the whole family.
Will see you tomorrow,
love,
phyllis
We continue to marvel at how the Lord has used Payton's life and the faith of her parents to challenge and inspire so many people around the world! We continue to grieve with you and pray for you often throughout the day. We love you guys.
heather and aaron....
thank you for your incredible testimony to the Lord's work and glory in the midst of all thats gone on in your life and in Paytons life...its amazing to see how many lives have been touched and how the Lord has lifted you both up and given you a peace and a purpose that is truly of His own...continue to be guided in His steadfast love and comfort! im thinking and praying for you now!
Hey Guys
I just wanted to give you our condolinces (if that is spelled right) with out bothering you at this tradgic time. I do want to let you know that you guys are in our prayers and we appreciate every thing you do.
Chad and 'Adrea
Although we are unable to attend the service to celebrate Payton's life, we are there in spirit and prayers.
Keith, Darla, Dale & Rose
Heather and Aaron,
I am so sorry about your loss. I consider it a great privilege to have known the 2 of you over the past couple years and Payton over the past months. I am humbled by your strength in this storm. Your faith in the Lord is amazing and a true inspiration to those of us still searching for answers to life's imponderable questions. Payton was born for a reason, and I somehow think that the two of you understand that more clearly than anyone. Thank you for sharing your lives, your faith, and Payton's life with us.
Erik Dovre
Heather & Aaron,
I'm Britton's friend and we also lost a baby girl, Madison from a heart defect. Words cannot express my sorrow and heartache. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. You will survive this, though you have a long road in front of you, the hurt does get better, but it never goes away. Always remember you're just as much a mom and dad as anyone and that precious little girl will always be with you, every day for the rest of your lives. Will write you in greater detail and would love to talk to you when you're ready. As a parent who has lost a child we are in a small minority and it helps to talk with someone who knows the pain you have inside. God Bless and cherish tomorrow. Love, Trisha
Heather & Aaron, We were so saddened to learn of your daughter's homegoing. Be assured both our churches will be praying for you.
Pastor Ken & Sheila Foster
Compton & Paw Paw United Methodist Churches
All I can think to say right now is how much I love you both. Samantha Gund
Heather and Aaron,
This is my first night back to work since hearing about Payton. I was so excited for you the day that we found out that there was a new heart for Payton. When I left work that day I felt that everything would go well for her and that with all of her strength that she would do well. I guess that God had another plan for little Payton. I just wanted to let you all know that our entire unit has been blessed in having known your daughter and both of you. Payton taught us more in her short life about strength, courage, faith, and the will to go on then most of us learn in a lifetime. She has left a place in all of our hearts that we will cherish forever. In all of my experience as a nurse I have never come across a family as special as yours. Your unyielding faith, your patience as you sat at Payton's bedside, and your spirit have taught all of us a lesson. We have truly been blessed in having known all of you. Thank you for sharing Payton with us, it was an honor to care for her. I will be unable to attend Payton's service in body but will be with you in spirit. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope our paths will cross again.
Julie, RN
Heather and Aaron,
My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family; first when Payton had her initial surgery and then ever since she returned in August. I remember seeing the three of you on the unit the day you came to visit between appointments. It was wonderful to see how beautiful Payton looked, sitting so big in her stroller.
I have admired your strength and your out-pouring of love with your baby girl. She touched everyone whom entered her room and we all were so hopeful and so happy when she got her heart.
What beautiful and amazing parents you both are. Thank you for sharing your lives with us, it was such a blessing to meet the three of you. Payton will always remain in my thoughts, I know she is God's arms and home.
Thinking of you today as you celebrate your precious baby girl Payton.
God Bless You-
Becky Johnson, RN
Dear Aaron and heather and families, Though we cannot be there, we are thinking about you, carrying you in our hearts, and we are praying for you today, as we did last night, and will continue to do in the days and weeks ahead. Precious Payton was such a blessing to this world and the angels sing joyfully at her homecoming! You are held in the love and assurance of our Lord and in the hearts and prayers of the thousands of people whos lives you have touched and who love you. Prayerfully, David and Rita Nelson
Dear Aaron and Heather:
Although I cannot be with you physically today, I am with you in prayer and I send my love. You have inspired and touched so many lives, as did your precious Payton. God's glory will continue to be revealed. You both are so dear and it has truly been an honor to be a part of your lives in such a personal, intimate way. Thank you for your transparency and for all the ways in which you shared Payton with so many. I love you in Christ and thank Him for the ways in which He has provided for you during this most difficult journey. I celebrate Payton's life with you this day and will continue to remember her as the days go forward and keep you and your loved ones in my prayers. May you find strength and encouragement in the days ahead. Love, Joyce Alison
Dear Ila:
Your comment is profound and I appreciate your sharing. As a fairly new grandparent myself, I cannot even begin to imagine what sorrow you are experiencing. Although I don't know you or any of the other grandparents, I feel a 'connection' to each of you as a grandparent and I have been lifting each of you up to our Father, asking for His love and strength to encompass you. I am truly sorry for the sorrow you are experiencing. Payton was amazing and her story will go on and continue to minister to many. Thank you for sharing her. In Christian Love, Joyce Alison (Mother to Dan Hogan)
Dear Heather and Aaron,
Since I received the news about Payton last Friday my heart has been aching for you both. I've found myself questioning God and wondering how and why this has happend and then I am convicted when I read your words..who am I to question God or doubt His goodness when you-Payton's precious parents are not. I do trust that God is good and know that He is faithful. Your lives are such a testimony to me and the lives of so many others. We are praying for you and lifting you up to our Heavenly Father this day. We pray that He would hold you in his loving arms and carry you gently through the days ahead. How amazing that He is holding Payton in his arms now and that she is looking into his eyes. We will continue to think of your precious baby girl and always remember her in our hearts. She has impacted our lives in so many ways. We mourn with you on this day and also rejoice for the life of beautiful baby Payton.
Our love,
Patrick and Christina Vance
Aaron and Heather-
We all carry this pain with you. Praise God for His divine gift of Payton! We're praying for you. Don't forget to take care of YOU in these weeks and months ahead. Let your hearts and bodies rest. She's safe with Jesus. She has no pain.
You and your family will forever be in our prayers in the weeks and months ahead.
We love you.
Matt and Keri Burton
Aaron and Heather-
We are mourning with you. We have, just tonight, read through all of your blogs.... we weep with you. We are and will continue to pray for you.
Much Love to you,
Jeff and Rebecca Burgess (from new staff training, on staff at University of Kansas)
Aaron and Heather,
We have been praying for you during these last few months. We heard about your precious baby girl only days after our Norah came into the world. We have been praying for you and Payton knowing that our girls would be amazing friends. One day, I pray, they will have the chance to share a cup of tea in heaven and laugh about all the crazy things their parents did! WE love you both and are praying for you as God continues to hold you through your lives.
Trusting Him to carry you,
Brett, Kim, Connor and Norah Swaim
Dear Aaron and Heather I really wanted to go to the service for Payton.I had to work that day I heard from my coworkers that it was a very beautiful service. I keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. The unit also seems empty without you here. God Bless you. Love Anita Von Arx
Heather & Aaron,
We are thinking of you often lately, and we pray for you to be at peace. Sorry we couldn't stay longer at the service yesterday, and thank you for being so gracious about it. May you know God's peace, grace, and strength as you navigate the next days and weeks without your precious baby.
We love you.
Brian & Karen Johnston
I came across your blog through a friend, and please let me tell you what a blessing your lives have been to me. Your unwavering faith has astounded me. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and hurt that you are experiencing after losing your sweet baby girl. I came across lyrics to a song that I hope will bless and encourage you. Thank you again for your amazing testimony. I will be praying for you for many days to come.
Glory Baby
Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby.. baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby.. baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you
Until we're home with you
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there's a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You'll kiss our tears away
When we're home to stay
Can't wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
till mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it's hard to
understand it cause we're hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we're stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would
Just like He said He would
I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know
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