Five

Hard to believe but Payton would've been 5 today. I can't believe it's been 5 years. Here's some of my thoughts from today:

• I'm so grateful we had her even for a little while. What a strong, amazing little person she was.


• I'm so grateful she's in heaven. Heaven is amazing (almost done with the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn - have about 20 pages left in the 475+ page book! ...been slowly working through it for, um, probably a year... It's a really good book.). Heaven is real. I'm going to get to see her there someday!


• This was the day I confronted one of my biggest fears - childbirth. And really, at that point, you have no choice.


• I don't know if this'll make sense, but I grieve what I didn't know was coming. I was so excited and optimistic. There was no warning, and honestly, I don't know that I'd have wanted to know ahead of time. I just would've worried about something I couldn't fix or control.


• Today was filled with unexpected gifts from the Lord. I can't go into all of it now, but He's so faithful to remind me of His goodness and kindness, His plan at work in my life. I'm humbled and blessed.

So thank you Jesus for our little girl. Thank you that she's with You. Thank you that I'll always be her mother and will get to spend eternity getting to know her in all the ways I didn't get to in this earthly life. Thank you for how You used her little life.

Because it was snowing on April 19th...

With the glorious weather we've been having lately, Liv and I were home all day (inside) last Tuesday and creativity was in order. Because for pete's sake it was SNOWING on April 19th (thought I'd state that again in case you missed the title). I was just grateful we weren't in the areas that were getting 7-9 inches. I had bought the big roll of paper from Ikea for $4 for just such an occasion. So we rolled out a good piece of it, broke out the crayons and markers, and went to town.


I kept asking her what different things were that she was drawing and wrote what she said on the paper. My favorite is a brown circle on the left side where she colored around the edges. When I asked her what it was she said, "a circle where everyone grows flowers." Also pictured is a cross, a baby, and the face of the mom next to it.



Here she is next to her masterpiece!

I Had a Ball (literally)

After 7 years on campus, Aaron finally agreed to go (in his defense some of those years we've been gone over that weekend). The campus hosts a Viennese Ball every spring as a fundraiser for the music department. It's a really big deal (supposedly the only other Viennese Ball in the world next to the one in Vienna, Austria). They completely convert the entire student center. The biggest room is the ball room - the symphony orchestra plays waltz music (and people actually waltz!) and after an hour the jazz orchestra plays swing and big band era music for an hour (where again, people dance!) and they alternate like that for the evening. It was wonderful. Then another big room is the polka room where a polka band plays. There's a small room where you can listen to jazz ensembles and another room to listen to a variety of student acapella groups (who are really good) and other instrument ensembles throughout the building. I really, really enjoyed all the music. We didn't even dance that much - I just loved people watching and listening to the music

So we went. We joined some students near and dear to our hearts and had a great evening!

Telling your kids about Easter

I know I've written about this book before - but for real, it's one of my favorites. Really, really good! Well, my friend discovered if you go to their website you can watch an animated version of the stories being read. Last week's story was about Jesus in the garden before the crucifixion. Liv was fascinated by it and watched it 4x in a row. This week's story is about the crucifixion. Click here to check it out.

Heavy Hearted

Those of you who have been following this blog since it started with Payton will know who I'm talking about when I mention little Ben. When Payton was in the cardiac ICU at Mayo the 2nd time, across the unit was little Ben. We met his parents who, like us, spent much time in the unit and were also staying at the Ronald McDonald House 2 blocks away. We became friends and periodically ate together and spent time together. They had adopted Ben from South Korea, and he'd been born with half a heart. In absolute genius, the doctors at Mayo found a way to adapt his heart to allow it to work. He's had ups and downs concerning his health and had even been on hospice a few times. Recently, however, he'd been doing really well. He was off oxygen and moving quite a bit on his own. But yesterday after breakfast he collapsed and went to be with the Lord. It was totally unexpected considering how he'd been doing. The funeral is tomorrow. I just ache for their family. Please keep them in your prayers. Ben was part of what influenced Aaron and I towards adoption. Seeing him and other children at Mayo really softened our hearts to the point we knew, before we lost Payton, that we would adopt at some point. I hope somehow he and Payton are able to connect now in heaven - with whole hearts celebrating with Jesus.

Gotcha Day #3!

We Love you Olivia Jee Eun! We're so grateful you've been home for 3 years! This past Friday, the 8th, was Liv's Gotcha Day. I think for adoptive families, at least for our little adoptive family, the Gotcha Day really feels like the "birth" day. It's the day we brought her into our family. I remember the the van ride to the airport, checking in and getting to our gate, the flight, getting home - it's the story of how we finally got her here! And it's already been 3 years, and she's nearly 4 years old! I read on a blog about how they gave their child a cultural gift on each Gotcha Day. I loved the idea, and this year got her this book. I love the pictures in it and hope it'll be something she can enjoy and learn from.

Nonnie Barb and Bompa Tom are our neighbors and attended our court day to officially adopt Liv and have been celebrated each Gotcha Day with us. They treated us to lunch at Culver's (I've got a girl that loves a good cheeseburger and some fries!). Nonnie Barb made her a pillowcase with Tinker Bell on it - a new love of Liv's.

We had a great time. I continue to be so grateful for Liv and our family. And we're so grateful to have Nonnie and Bompa here. It's such a blessing to have some "family" in town. And I'm getting so excited about this next little one - we'll be on the waiting list for a child from Korea this week! Can't wait for the next Gotcha Day!

A Love Story

40 years ago today a young, bright-eyed nurse married a handsome soldier. He had proposed 6 weeks prior. He had a short break allowing them to get married. Could they do it? The wedding was quickly put together but simple and beautiful. With hardly a honeymoon, they began their lives together. In the early years of marriage they endured long stretches of separation as the young soldier fulfilled his commitments with the army in the states and then finally in Vietnam.

They lived in apartments with used furniture. She often worked nights. And eventually they built their own little 3 bedroom house in a small town North of the city. In 1978 they moved in before adding their first child, a girl, a few months later. She stayed home with the baby, and he worked in an office. And nearly 3 years later, a sweet little, chubby-cheeked boy was added to the family.

Family was their priority. She went back to work 2nd shift while he worked days at the office. They drove cars that worked most of the time. Instead of a new car, they put in a pool. Instead of new carpet in the family room, they saved for family vacations. Doing without, they put the children in a private school. And eventually they went back to school as well. While working full-time and giving their all to two kids, she got her Bachelor's degree and then her Master's (and just barely survived statistics). He also earned his Master's.

They worked hard on their marriage and provided a stable, loving home for their children. There were days off spent by the pool and Sunday morning breakfasts made on the grill. They took day trips into the Chicago to see museums and plays. They went to all their kids sporting events.

They helped each other follow their dreams to move into new positions at work and open a new business. Through many ups and downs, highs and lows, they finally becan to see success.

Despite busy schedules, they've supported their kids and grown in their marriage. They're the best parents any child could ask for. They deserve a lavish party, but their kids can't afford it. The money has gone to construction loans and an engagement ring, to administration fees and application costs.

We love you Mom and Dad! Happy Anniversary! We can't honor you with a party, but we want to honor you with generations - a new daughter and a new grandchild. You deserve a wonderful day and congratulations on 40 years!