2 Years

Joshua 4:19-24:

"The people came up out of the Jordan... And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan [river], Joshua set up at Gilgal. And he said to the people of Israel, 'When your children ask their fathers in times to come, "What do these stones mean?" then you shall let your children know, "Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground." For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.' "

It's hard for me to believe it's been 2 years since Payton went home to be with the Lord. This anniversary has been easier than the first. We still miss her. We still wonder what she would've looked like and been like if she were still with us, but we realize with gratitude that she was most likely spared from a long uphill battle. She is in heaven and whole and praising Jesus! I wrote out the verse above as it's something I periodically do on my own - take stock and remember all that God has done for us. Here are a few of my own "stones" that I'd like to list as gratitude for what the Lord did through Payton.

• Stone #1 - God's provision. Like last year, I've been re-reading the blog through the last few weeks just remembering the journey that we were on 2 years ago. As I've re-read it lately, I can't get over how the Lord sustained us and provided for us. He abundantly met our needs throughout that time. I also can't get over the prayer support that he provided. Literally thousands of people were praying for us and holding us and Payton up before him. It still just absolutely humbles me to see how the Lord worked through the prayers of others to sustain us and Payton.
• Stone #2 - A little missionary. I am always amazed when I think of how the Lord used a tiny baby on life support to impact the lives of so many. Payton really did have a ministry. I don't know that I could even explain or understand it, but I saw it. People who came in contact with her were impacted. He used her mightily. It also brings home to me the intrinsic value and sanctity of life. Life in its nature has value, and we are not the judge of that value - God is the source.
• Stone #3 - A precious daughter. I will forever be grateful that Payton is my daughter. What an honor to be her mother, and what a gift to know her and have experienced her little life.
• Stone #4 - Livie. I've never said this on the blog before though I alluded to it in our little bio at the top, but I knew how many weeks Liv was born at. And one day out of curiousity, I counted backward. It is not outside the realm of possibility that as our first daughter left this earth to be with the Lord, the life of our second daughter was beginning. It just rocks me everytime I think about it. I was never "without" a child - I just had one on the other side of the world I didn't know about yet.
• Stone #5 - My own Heart. The Lord has done SO MUCH in my own life and heart. It's so hard to even put into words, but I am immensely grateful for how Jesus continues to heal and change me. He has been so good.

So there's a few of my thoughts from today. We're still on the journey He has for us. And always as I look back on how the Lord has taken care of us up to this point, I can look ahead knowing He'll do the same in the future. I'd encourage you to do the same :). Much love, the Joneses